idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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