none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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