have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
this boner is exhausting
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
