In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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