That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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