Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
