you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
