i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
