I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
