can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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