yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
