And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
