It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
