Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
