Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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