I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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