We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
