i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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