We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
