Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
