the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
