You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
