My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize