dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
He kissed a someone with a penis
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize