a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Your cock deserves a montage
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
