I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
