Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
she smelled like a LAN party
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
