He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
