no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
