I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
