I need help removing her.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
