it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
