I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
