he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
