The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
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