I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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