I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
