Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
