a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
