so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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