Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
