i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize