I smell stomach acid.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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