I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
