Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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