Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
