he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
