wake up i wanna do it froggy style
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
