My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
