i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
