have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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