We should be called the Road Head Warriors
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
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