Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
