well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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