I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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