This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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